Fear and Insecurity

I think people with similar (+/-15%) talent, education and putting into similar efforts are capable of achieving similar things. However, in real life reward system, the final result is disproportionality affected by some random factors like luck. All things are equal, the desire to win,  the extra mile a few people are willing to walk, play make-or-break role in the making of legend. They are mainly driven by emotional factors such as fear, pride, greed, etc.

For a long time, I often had nightmare that I had to re-take China's College Entrance Examination. Like my mom, I'm always worried by the worst case scenarios and driven by fear. For all things I get, I attribute more to my sense of insecurity than my intelligence or anything else.